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Sleepless In Austin

What Not To Do When You're Looking For Love

September 27, 2013

Flip

Many men have been there: The business end of a very, very long dry spell. Which is to say, the middle part, with absolutely no end in sight. You've tried everything and nothing's clicked. You're tired of the fake enthusiasm that you need to muster up for the barroom pickup, you're tired of scanning through identical-looking OkCupid profiles, you've dated all your friends' friends to no avail, you've dug into your back catalog of college acquaintances who live in your city, you've joined one of those kickball leagues for lonely college graduates. All this, and you're still alone. At this point, the scent of desperation is on you, and no amount of Gucci Pour Homme is gonna hide it.

Many of you have come to AskMen looking for answers during just such periods in your lives, and we're here for you. And today's lesson is this: Don't do this.

This guy created a website to aid in his search for a girlfriend. There's a $1,500 finder's fee if you refer someone, in case you weren't clear on whether or not this guy has any sense. He has a laundry list of qualities that his dream girl has (and doesn't have — non-white skin is one of those, all women of color will surely be devastated to hear) and basically does a masterful job of presenting himself in the worst possible light.

If you're as desperate for a girlfriend as this guy, take heart. You didn't create this website, thereby making yourself a laughing stock for women everywhere.

Just keep your chin up, keep smiling at beautiful women, keep being a gentleman — and someday soon, female attention will once again rain down on your dry spell.